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For one thing I hope they poke their fcuking eyes out, I can’t stand it… vanity sucks! A man would never do that. Imagine seeing a businessman shaving on the tube in the morning... he wouldn't, so why do women do it? Someone please tell me!(No i don't mean shaving, although i would'nt put it past some of them!) I have to move if I’m near one, leave my double seat and move to the other end of the carriage and stand far-away, face pressed up against the window. If I where a tube driver I’d slam my breaks on! Girls would exit the sliding doors with lines running down their faces and powder all over their clothes and I’d laugh, oh how I would laugh, peering into my little monitor with a smile, serves them bloody right. Do-it at home, or at work. No one gives a shit if you look minging in the morning we all do but I’m sure you’ll turn a few heads with a glass eye. 
My pet hates
Women: Putting their make-up on in the morning on the bus or tube!
Lips are Ok, I can understand that adding a bit of lip-gloss or colour make you girls feel sexy, but eyeliner…
I don’t care how bloody good you are at putting it on, one day it gunna be SCREECH!! And O! - There goes my eyeball, rolling down aisle; hey don't squash it Kill Bill style...
Bronze Britian
“I not black I’m brown!” This statement still reverbs through me today, and is one that I will never forget. At the time I said it I wasn’t in the best of states myself, but it still rings true now as it did back then. I don’t think many of you will understand, but those who do will feel reassured that they are not alone. I was brought up in a small village in Buckinghamshire – about 20 miles out side west London. Chalfont St. Peter was a beautiful Idyllic place, several times winner of village of the year and home to a few well known celebrities of the era, Roy Castle, to name but one. A typical middle classed hamlet, and prone to the usual rivalry with the surrounding villages, Gerrards Cross and Chalfont St. Giles. I remember being apart of all the so called crews back then, Kerbside motors was one, the Chalfont lot another the G x’ers. I was a kid you see that stood out from the rest because of my colour. Of mixed race; half Jamaica half English, there weren’t too many of us around in the late 70’s early 80’s in my village in fact I can remember only three in our school. My brother and I, and our good friend, also called Jason. In such a small community is seem that if you were different fate brought you together, as we where also friends with another very dark skin lad called David, although looking back perhaps not, it’s just that “black thing.” But there the problems lies, I’m not black and never will be. Being black is a more cultural than colour, its instilled in you from your parent and peers friend and teachers, the colour of your skin was the badge back then, but nower day that badge has been lost in all but a few, racism came more from the black side of things than the white in my child hood, as it became a no- no to pick on someone because of there colour and if you were white this could lead you into all kinds of trouble. But being black this didn’t apply and still doesn’t in some circles. You see being mixed race/a half breed/half caste, la Raza, you are initially excepted in to both cultures, and find that many people find it easier to approach you as some of their prejudice's are put aside as they think they can relate to you better. This is not always the case though, and I have on several occasions found myself trying to be someone I’m not when meeting and talking to people. Why would you do that you mite say – because from previous experience this is some times the best thing to do and when you’re young all you want to do is be accepted. There have been several instances in my life where, it’s come down to physical blows, and each time it has been with a black man. Its seem that if you do or say something wrong, then each culture will blame it on the other, and all those prejudices resurface – oh I don’t look at you as black man, your more white than black, you’re a brother, you know what I mean bredrin. Hold on, why do people have to label each other? To make things easier I suppose, but easier for whom! It took me years to understand this, I love rock and roll I love reggae I love all kinds of music, but music doesn’t define your colour so much now as it did, but growing up it had much more of an impact. Mod’s and rocker, punk’s, skins, Nwa and Public Enemy these groups were all about a statement, of who you are, and wearing the badge or logo, gave off a distinct message to the world. Now is not the same, but growing up like that can really mess with your head. I’ve still never been to Jamaica although I’d love to go (just can’t afford it) I’d love to see my relatives and see where the black side of me comes from, but truth be told I’m a bit scared. Scared that I will again try and be something I’m not, not to impress just to be accepted. I know things aren’t the same over here nower day but this is a totally different country and culture. I will go someday; in fact I’ve already started to make plans with my half sisters, and we are in contact with my cousins over there so soon I’ll find out. I’ve never been comfortable saying some words and still feel uncomfortable now. Whether your white black yellow or brown, some word have a social sigma and should not been said. You know what words I mean I won’t say then here, but young coloured British people, take so much from our American counterpart, when from my understanding they don’t apply to us. I understand that taking a word back and using it in music is also a statement, but why go that way about it. I will never feel ok if some one calls me certain words even in jest and still don’t like hearing some in music. Americans have a massive chip on their shoulder and always go on about the old days when segregation was the norm. In my 40 years on this planet that never really applied to me, not saying is shouldn’t be remembers and we should learn lesson from other cultures, but you have to be realistic. I find racism a lot more undercover in Britain, more of the shop keeper keeping an extra eye on you, or when you know what someone thinking, British people don’t say things like that as they know that the racism banner is a strong one and will hold up very well in a court of law. But we all have that, so many people I used to know, used the American, down troddeness to fuel anger in themselves, as we didn’t have the same colourful history as them, I know about the slave trade in England I lived in Bristol for god sake and I know about Mr Paine and all he did for equal rights but this is a long time ago and we should be able to move on from that, not forget – and I know that in London racism still runs rife but its not a black or white thing any more its person thing, some people are just cruel and nasty to their bones and there colour doesn’t make this, the people they hang with does. What am I trying to say? I don’t know, but things aren’t just black and white anymore, the world is full of clubs, whether its football, facebook, or skin. You need to look with better eyes than that and don’t take people on their looks, take them for being people, and deal with the bad ones; you’ll know who they are. Some of the happiest and loving people in my life have been the scariest ones to look at. And some of the most beautiful have been the most horrid. 
We went barge'in it was great
This one is for Payney and Darren - fond memories form the Barge that no longer is, here is the bit though when bald Darren was bet a fiver each he wouldn't strip and jump in the dodge canal water
Hello, this is my page on the fella's website, my aim is to bring ya a collection of my fave stuff, some of its funny, some interesting and some quite disturbing...enjoy and watch this space for daily (ish) updates. 
Northen Carnies
Northen Carines
Link from; http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=o2Z6tDSb6c8
The World famous Terracotta Army, in fairness this would scare the life out of you!
This is by far the best nature video that i have ever seen ever! A bit long i
know but keep watching, it just keeps getting better and better!
Winner of YouTubes Best Eyewitness Video 2007.
See http://www.BattleAtKruger.com for further details.
